honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
