just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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