Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
