coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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