I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize