I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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