we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
