I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Me too!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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