Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
