Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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