u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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