The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize