Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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