They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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