ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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