can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
