i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
