She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
