so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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