So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
my shit smells like andre
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
