Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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