I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
