I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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