Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I smell like Dick and happiness
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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