I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
