i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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