I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
