I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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