you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
