I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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