I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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