at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
