ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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