You're so nebulous sometimes
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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