You're a womanizer and a bitch.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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