I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
