their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
