If i come over, it means nothing
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
