god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
