Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
