Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
