D3 body, D1 cock
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
