Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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