I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize