I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
