tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
