oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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