Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
