ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
