you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Operation Purity has been aborted
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
