You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
