i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
