hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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