did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I enjoy the company of your penis
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
