If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
