Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
