why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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