I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
