Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
