i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize