Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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