i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
