I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
kristin has been a bad kristin
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
