Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize