She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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