Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
