You just made me feel so damn special
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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