he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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