I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
