I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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