i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
