I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
