she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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