My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize