We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
