so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
